Why do I feel down?
You’re told you’re one of “Jehovah’s happy people”… but you’re not really feeling it.
According to psychological research,
Jehovah’s Witnesses are more likely to suffer from mental ill-health compared the general population. Anxiety, depression, low-self worth, self-harm and suicidal ideation being common in this group. They’re also three times as likely to suffer from psychosis.
What’s going on?
If you find yourself wondering “Why do I feel so low all the time?” — especially while living as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses — you’re not alone. Many people inside the organisation silently struggle with feelings of sadness, emptiness, or anxiety, even though they’ve been told that Jehovah’s Witnesses are the “happiest people on earth.” The truth is, the Jehovah’s Witness lifestyle conditions people to behave as if they’re mentally unwell — even if they don’t realise it.
Think about how narrow life becomes inside the religion. You’re told to withdraw from “the world,” to limit friendships only to fellow Witnesses, and to keep your distance from people who might influence you “negatively.” This means cutting yourself off from most of society — from people you might genuinely connect with, laugh with, or fall in love with.
As human beings, we’re social creatures who need social connections to stay mentally healthy. When you take that away, the result is loneliness, social anxiety, and low self-esteem. These aren’t signs that you’re broken or failing in some way; they’re natural responses to an unnatural lifestyle.
Living in Fear
Then there’s the constant undercurrent of fear — the dread that Armageddon could come at any moment. You’re encouraged to see the world as a dark, dangerous place “ruled by Satan.” The literature, and the talks are cherry-picked to confirm that things are getting worse, feeding the belief that “the end is near.” This creates chronic anxiety — a feeling of being permanently on edge.
Ironically, when bad things happen inside the organisation — when people gossip, judge, or behave abusively — you’re told it’s “human weakness” and warned not to be “stumbled.” But why doesn’t that same logic apply to the world outside? If Witnesses could show the same level of understanding towards non-Witnesses that they’re told to show inside, life would feel far more balanced — and far less fearful.
You’re Not the Only One Who Feels This Way
Perhaps you’ve been told that true happiness only exists inside the organisation. Yet despite doing everything “right” — attending meetings, pioneering, following the rules — you still feel down. You may even feel guilty for it. But depression, anxiety, and low self-worth are extremely common among Jehovah’s Witnesses and other high-control groups. Most members never admit it — even to themselves — because they believe they’re the only ones struggling. The smiling faces you see at the Kingdom Hall often mask deep internal pain.
Many former Witnesses I’ve worked with — including elders, pioneers, and even circuit overseers — have shared how they lived with silent anguish for years. On the surface, they were pillars of faith; but privately, they were falling apart.
Your Body Is Speaking to You
That feeling of sadness or emptiness is your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. Our brains are danger-scanning machines; they sense when we’re living in a way that doesn’t align with who we really are. This inner conflict can show up not only as low mood, but as physical symptoms too: headaches, nausea, skin rashes, tension, or even obsessive thoughts and repetitive behaviours (like repeating scriptures or phrases in your mind). These are all signs of distress — the mind and body’s cry for authenticity and safety.
The Power of Authenticity
One of the greatest predictors of good mental health is authenticity — living in a way that feels true to who you are. It’s what almost every therapeutic approach ultimately aims for, but in environments like the JW organisation, authenticity is suppressed. You’re expected to look and behave a certain way. Your grooming, dress, relationships, even your body are all subject to scrutiny. Piercings, tattoos, dating choices, or friendships can all be met with gossip, judgement, or formal discipline. Over time, this teaches you to hide the real you — to bury your individuality under layers of shame and conformity.
That suppression builds up pressure. Add the constant exposure to fear-inducing messages from literature and meetings, and it’s no wonder so many Witnesses feel perpetually sad, anxious, or numb.
There Is Relief
The good news is that these feelings do ease with time once you start stepping away, when you stop reading the literature, stop attending meetings, and begin exploring who you truly are, your nervous system gradually calms down.
You don’t have to make huge changes straight away. Start small. Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do — and begin ticking them off, one by one.
It could be something as simple as reading a book you weren’t “supposed” to read, watching a film you once avoided, or exploring your interests and identity online. Maybe you’d like to dye your hair, get a piercing, or reconnect with someone you lost touch with. These aren’t rebellious acts — they’re steps toward reclaiming your autonomy.
Each small act of authenticity helps to heal the part of you that was forced to hide. Over time, you’ll begin to feel lighter, more grounded, and more you.
And of course, talking about it helps tremendously. Whether that’s with a therapist, a coach, a trusted non-JW friend or family member — or even by journalling privately — expressing what you feel is deeply healing. When you write or talk things through, your thoughts begin to slow down. You start to notice patterns, emotions, and insights that were buried beneath the surface. Journalling in particular has a way of forcing your brain to pause, to process, and to make sense of what’s really going on inside. Over time, this simple habit can help you reconnect with yourself and find clarity amid the confusion.
If you’d like to take this further, I offer online coaching sessions for former Jehovah’s Witnesses and others recovering from high-control groups. If you’re interested in working with a psychologist who spent over 30 years inside the organisation, simply get in touch.
Together, we’ll navigate your recovery, rebuild your confidence, and carve out the life you truly want — one that reflects your values, your voice, and your freedom.
